Episode 005 – “The Talk” with Megan Michelson of Birds & Bees

Show Notes:

As a Middle School teacher in 2009, Megan adored her students, but was also alarmed by how much the sexualized culture was influencing them. At a parenting program hosted by the school, she first heard Mary Flo speak. She realized the powerful insights of Mary Flo's strategies and recognized what a difference it could have made for her students if their parents had had conversations with them in their earlier years. For her, this exposure to Mary Flo’s approach was a game-changer as to the importance, timing and content of conversations about sex between parent and child.

Several years later, after becoming a parent herself, her convictions about this approach deepened, ultimately leading her to train under Mary Flo. In 2015 Megan began presenting the program to a new generation of parents. Megan was born in Dallas and received her degree in Communications from Baylor University. She has been married to her husband Blake for seven years and they have two young children.

Everyone is nervous and has questions of how do I have this TALK with my children?

Watch all 6 steps on their website! Online video series and discussion guide
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– Good Pictures, Bad Pictures – Book on Amazon
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  • Eliminate “the talk” and instead, let’s have a series of conversations and create an open communication channel between our children and us as parents.
  • Mary Flo Ridley & Megan Michelson are working together to take the Birds & Bees to a new generation of parenting
  • As a culture, we HAVE to do something different to combat this culture. Birds & Bees is a 6 step strategy where parents will feel empowered that not only should I do this but I CAN do this.

How early is early enough but not too early to begin discussing?

  • Don’t ask when, but ask “do I want to tell them?”
  • If the answer is yes, then the answer to when is going to be “sooner than you think!”
  • Your family is the age of your oldest child, and everyone else keeps up. – Megan Michelson
  • There is power in the first impression – Megan Michelson
  • Most families have two types of kids, the question askers and the not chatty ones
  • It’s equally important to give information to both types of kids. Just because your child isn’t asking questions doesn’t mean you can’t bring it up.
  • As a parent take charge and say “have you ever wondered…”
  • We should always be pointing our children back towards our Creator – Julie Pearson
  • Help our children cultivate that wonder and awe – Megan Michelson
  • What’s the first step towards starting the open communication channel
  • Creating your family message is easy and simple between you and your spouse and gives you the plan of action going forward. What is our viewpoint around sex and our messaging? What do we want our kids to know about sex? What words will we use? What boundaries will we set?
  • This step is about knowing your offensive plan and not just operating on the defensive.
  • On the Birds & Bees website there is a discussion guide for parents! Check it out!
  • If you don’t have a plan, you panic when they ask! – Megan Michelson

Step 2 is to use anatomically correct terms for body parts. This is the best place to start for young kids around 2 or 3.

You don’t have to always use the correct words. You just have to give them the correct language. You don’t want them to think that it’s a bad word or a silly or embarrassing part. You just want to create a medical and respectful, matter of fact tone around private areas.

One of the best things you can do to protect your child from sexual abuse is to arm them with the proper language!

How to backtrack and fix a mistake – For example fixing the “wingy wangy” words and correctly labeling body parts

“I’m going to teach you the real word for that body part.”

Don’t ever be afraid to go back and have these conversations. It’s never too late to start the dialog.

Parents first reaction to the talk is to do nothing unless prompted. Instead, be armed and ready and proactive.

  • “That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked!” – This is a great predesignated response
  • This phrase is great for 2 reasons. It gives you time to think…to think about your response. It also helps your child to know that they came to the right place and that it is perfectly ok to talk about this with each other. It creates healthy, age appropriate communication.
  • We just want our kids to have a healthy understanding of what sex is
  • We don’t have a choice anymore to not talk about sex with our children
  • The average age of first viewing of pornography is 11 years old. Megan recommends “Good Pictures, Bad Pictures”.
  • “We don’t have a smartphone problem, we have a dumb parent problem”
  • Give you kids an “out” strategy
  • Empower your kids to say no and get out of a tricky situation and to build trust between you and them.
  • It’s a daunting field and path to walk, but if we start when they are young and have little, age appropriate conversations than we can build a foundation and trust and ideally build a healthy understanding of sex with our kids.
  • It is never too late – Megan Michelson
  • Speak up & speak in! – Megan Michelson
  • They need to hear our voice even though they act like they may not want to – Megan Micehlson

Author: Good Setters